SELECTING A FUNERAL COORDINATOR

I have encountered a variety of preparedness levels by agencies for dealing with the death of an officer, regardless of the circumstances, and found that few agencies are well prepared and have a designated or assigned funeral coordinator. Every death is tragic and most are unexpected.Accidents, illness, suicides and line-of-duty deaths can devastate any agency.

An agency’s response to any death requires a comprehensive protocol specific to the agency and a competent planning team led by a competent funeral coordinator. Being prepared for the death of an officer is not an administrative exercise in being prepared for the unthinkable, but being prepared for the unexpected.

A line-of-duty death is the most tragic and the most demanding on an agency.Not only is the entire agency grieving but the event may likely mobilize the entire agency to respond to the accident or criminal investigation. However,when I ask agency managers who their funeral coordinator is, they often don’t know. Or, they explain how it will be the unusual occurrence coordinator or special events coordinator. But, these coordinators don’t-know they will be expected to be the funeral coordinator should a death occur.

This is not an assignment that anyone should be surprised to get.This is not an assignment that can be incorporated into a broad category,like special events, and think it will be handled competently. It is a specialized responsibility and takes a personal commitment and specialized knowledge and training. Unfortunately experience is important also but isn’t necessarily the best or only way to learn.

So, the question is, “Who should be selected to be the agency’s funeral coordinator?” Well, it depends on the agency’s size, resources, and management support. It depends on if the agency managers want to plan for the unthinkable, the death of an officer.

Most large agencies, because of their size, experience the death of officers from illness, accident, suicide or line-of-duty often enough to have a designated funeral coordinator. They have adequate services and resources to provide the necessary support; logistical, personnel, psychological, etc.

Small agencies are easily overwhelmed and must rely on neighboring agencies,especially larger agencies that typically have the resources and services,to provide what is needed to manage the funeral for the death of an officer,especially a line-of-duty death.

I assisted a 24-member agency who experienced the death of two officers.They were devastated and overwhelmed. I had to coordinate everything through other agencies. It’s always been my experience that finding agencies to help is not a problem. So when I put out the request for assistance there was no problem in getting offers to help, just managing them.

I got traffic experts and motors from one large agency to handle the parking and motorcade. I got another large agency to handle the logistics and personnel. A neighboring agency coordinated staffing the agency until after the funeral. And the list went on, but it was all handled by other agencies through my position as funeral coordinator.

A small agency that knows that they will need to bring in a local large agency coordinator should have a designated internal coordinator, to be the co-coordinator and agency liaison. Their job is to go and meet with the larger neighboring agency before an incident occurs and learn specifically:

* who to contact and how,

* what resources and services will be provided,

* what will be expected to have been initiated before they arrive,

* what will be expected to be done after they arrive,

* and, how long it will likely take them to arrive.

The requesting agency should find out how much experience and training the larger neighboring coordinator has. The agency should ask to see the coordinators protocol and supportive resource material. Will their protocol work for the requesting agency? When a death occurs is not the time to learn that there will be several hours until the “funeral coordinator” will arrive and when they do arrive they are alone and no response or support services have been initiated.

Then is not the time to learn that the “coordinator” is experienced in special events planning and has not actually managed a funeral before and has no experience in dealing with a grieving family, the deceased officer’s agency’s members individual and collective grief, or a grieving community. Any agency expecting to rely on a neighboring agency as the primary funeral coordinator should meet with that agency’s coordinator and verify exactly what will be provided and what will be needed.

I consulted with a small agency that brought in a local large agency to handle the funeral coordination but learned that the coordinator had very limited experience. The officer was excellent at organizing and was very task oriented but did not comprehend the myriad people issues involved and attempted to make decisions based on the availability of resources rather than determining what people involved wanted or needed.

The officer’s initial approach to the people issues was to take charge and give instructions rather than listen and offer guidance and help people make difficult decisions. Had the requesting agency known the coordinator’s limitations and management style before the death, a modified co-coordinator management team would have been more efficient and effective.

So what about all the agencies in the middle? Not large enough to have an assigned and experienced funeral coordinator or small enough to know they will have to rely on a larger agency or professional coordinator. Who should be their designated funeral coordinator and what should they be aware of?

 If an agency knows that they will assign the primary funeral coordinator but know they will need to rely on neighboring agencies for some of the support resources and services then they need to do two things. First identify and prepare the potential funeral coordinator. Second, have the coordinator identify exactly what services and resources will be available within the agency and what will need to be provided by other agencies and how to access them. Pre-planning is part of the funeral coordinator’s job.

The funeral coordinator needs to have a plan, a protocol, and be familiar with it. The protocol must be specific to the agency. I have worked with agencies that relied on a protocol from another agency that they had on file and when they pulled it out they discovered that it was not compatible with their agency and created more turmoil than it solved.

I know of an agency that thought they had a comprehensive protocol on file but when they pulled it out and looked through it they discovered that within the 80-plus pages of material were only three pages that dealt, in general terms, with the actual planning of the funeral. This is not the way to learn that the protocol does not provide what is needed.

Planning is important but the funeral coordinator also needs to know how to deal with the myriad people issues involved. I know there are a few training opportunities available but th ey may not be convenient for many agencies. I had to be self taught. My predecessor left on Friday and I showed up on Monday. Fortunately I had an experienced staff but I still had a lot to learn. So I sought out seminars and courses for grief and bereavement counselors.

I attended training for funeral directors. I attended training on death notifications and death and dying issues for chaplains. I got copies of every protocol I could find and studied and compared them. I bought a variety of books on all the related issues involved with bereavement, death notifications, peer support, critical incident debriefings, and funeral planning. Local mortuaries all had pamphlets for surviving families on a multitude of topics and I got copies and studied them all. I visited every local cemetery and got maps of their facilities.

I sought advice from local church leaders and agency chaplains. I visited neighboring agencies that had funeral coordinators and began to network. I met with the honor guard supervisor and studied protocols and flag etiquette. I was able to do all these things because I had the support of my chief and management. It took my time, some money, agency support and a lot of work to develop my expertise but it was well worth it. I was not going to rely on experience alone to be my mentor.

If an agency expects someone from within their agency to be the funeral coordinator then they need to provide training and support. The assigned officer needs to want to do the job. They need to know what is expected oft hem, be familiar with the resource material available, seek out opportunities for training, meet with other funeral coordinators in the area and develop a supportive network, and be prepared to not only park cars and seat people but deal with the myriad of people issues involved.

Agency funeral coordinators don’t have to just wait for an officer to die.An additional benefit from being a well prepared funeral coordinator is that you can help agency members whenever they experience the death of a family member, which usually occurs more often than an officer dying. As a funeral coordinator I got many calls from agency members who had just experienced the death of a parent, spouse or child.

They were often overwhelmed and didn’t know how to proceed. I was able to provide them with the information they needed and prepare them for what they would experience in the next few days. I was able to connect them to the support services available for them and their families. If they wanted me to come and meet with them and go with them to the various planning meetings I was glad to do so. I was able to help hundreds of officers through some very difficult personal times. That’s what funeral coordinators do.

John Cooley

PoliceFunerals.Com