DEATHS OF OFFICER'S FAMILY MEMBERS

As an agency funeral coordinator I was notified whenever an agency member died, regardless of the circumstances. I would respond to the surviving family and offer my support and agency resources and services.

However, there were times when I was not immediately notified of a death and those were the times when an agency member had a family member that died;usually a spouse, child or parent. The department typically relied on the employee to notify their supervisor and request bereavement leave. Many times the supervisor merely approved the bereavement leave and did not inform the officer of the availability of department services that could help them through these difficult times.

Other times the supervisor informed the officer of the services and helped the officer by contacting me. Then I had an opportunity to either call the officer or respond, depending on the circumstances. Most times I encountered a family that was overwhelmed by the situation.

 People seldom plan on making funeral arrangements for someone they love, especially a spouse or child. They needed guidance and support.They needed information so that they could be prepared to make some very difficult decisions. They needed someone to help them take control of their lives. As a trained and experienced funeral coordinator, I could provide the guidance and support they needed.

One officer and his wife experienced a still birth, a very traumatic event.His supervisor contacted me and informed me of the situation and hospital that the officer was at. I responded. I was able to help the officer, his wife, and family through the difficult times they were experiencing and prepare them for what they would experience in the next few days. I helped them get in touch with a department chaplain and psychologist. They had al ot of uncertainty about what they needed to do and asked me to help them with the funeral arrangements etc. I was glad to be able to help.

Being available to assist agency members who experienced a loss in their family was an important part of my job. However, many officers didn’t know that I was available and struggled through those difficult times without any opportunity for support and guidance.

Many times it was just a phone call and answering some questions. Other times providing some resources and connecting them to various support services. Then there were the times when the officer and family needed my personal assistance and help doing everything associated with the death and funeral planning.

Regardless of the type of assistance provided, the important thing is that officers realize that assistance is available and make the call or ask their supervisor to call. Supervisors need to know how to contact agency funeral coordinators.Funeral coordinators need to advertise their services and availability.Every supervisor and agency manager needs to know about the services available.

Coordinators need to be there for every employee whenever there’s a need, not just when an officer dies in the line-of-duty. During my career I managed 24 line-of-duty deaths, over 60 active duty deaths, and assisted over 300 officers who had a family member die. It’s easy to see where the need was. Coordinators need to be available to those in need. All the training, preparation, services and resources are not just for the big events. It’s a people thing. Coordinators need to be prepared to help the members of their agency family in a time of need. If not us, who?

John Cooley

PoliceFunerals.Com