What’s the Message? by John Cooley

 

At my seminars I am always told how things have been done at different agencies when an officer has died. 

These stories emphasize my belief that we don’t always treat our own officers or our surviving families in the best manner possible. Let me share some personal accounts of what has happened in the field:

• An officer was killed in the line-of-duty. His parents lived to far away to have the officer’s agency make the notification. They asked the agency where the parents lived to make the notification. A couple of officers arrived at the parent’s home and handed them a note, saying to call their son’s agency, and then they left. What’s the message?

• Breaking television news tells viewers that an officer has been shot and killed in a local community. The officer is not named. The wife of the involved officer calls the watch commander and asks him if the officer on the news is her husband. She is put on hold. What’s the message? 

• Parents of a deceased officer come to the station to pick up his personal property and are handed a trash bag. What’s the message?

• An officer is killed in the line-of-duty. The watch commander notifies all employees in the station by making the announcement over the public address system, using the code for End of Watch. What’s the message?

• An officer is killed in the line-of-duty and the announcement to all agency personnel is made by an internal e-mail. What’s the message?

Note: The last two situations may have been the most expedient means to notify the station personnel of the officer’s death, but the part that is missing is that there was no personal follow-up. All death notifications to our own personnel need to be made in-person, in-time, and with compassion. A P/A broadcast or an e-mail isn’t acceptable and doesn’t fulfill our obligations to our personnel.

• An officer is killed in the line-of-duty. His wife is an officer for the same agency. At one of the first planning team meetings some team members begin to criticize the surviving wife for not keeping her emotions under control and not being able to make some initial decisions. After all, she’s a police officer. What’s the message?

• The surviving wife makes the funeral arrangements. She overlooks the wishes and concerns of the deceased officer’s parents. They are regulated to being spectators with assigned seating. What’s the message?

This is why in my book and in my seminars I advocate that when a family liaison officer is assigned to the surviving family, another one is assigned to the deceased officer’s parents. The parents have a vested interest in the funeral arrangements and we should try to identify and meet their needs also.

• An officer is murdered by an ex-boyfriend. It is not work related. She is provided with a full line-of-duty funeral and ceremonies, including the helicopter fly-over, that is traditionally reserved for officers killed in the line-of-duty. The reasoning was that she was a stellar officer and one of the most popular officer’s in the agency. What’s the message?

I hope these incidents have provided you with some food for thought. It’s often not what we do but how we do it. It’s often over looking the needs of others because no one told us they have needs we should be aware of.

Traditions are not absolute but are important and should not be set aside by allowing emotional decisions to be made when we should be listening to the voice of reason and objectivity. Pre-planning is essential.

Training on how to plan, manage and coordinate police funerals is essential.

We always seem to do things right, but not always best. There is no room for mediocrity. Our goal is to not only do it right, but to do it best. We need to do better. So what’s the message?  

John Cooley
Policefunerals.com